Talking about Bruno...

 We don’t talk about Bruno….but maybe we should.  WARNING!  This may contain spoilers so if you have not seen Disney’s Encanto, you may want to return after watching it, but if you don’t mind or have already seen the movie or have the song now stuck in your head as an ear worm, proceed.

 

Amidst family scandal in the movie Encanto, Bruno uses his gift to shine light on unfortunate happenings with his family.  When things have reached their limit to handle, he is cast away to make life easier on everyone else.  But the reality is that he never leaves.  

 

Often times this is the way we handle tough topics as the church or as families, it’s just easier for all of us if we don’t talk about them.  But the reality is that even if we don’t talk about them, they remain, and often times, can cause more trouble ignored than if they are brought into the open.  We believe that God is light and truth and through Jesus darkness flees.  We don’t have to hide from sinful topics, but can trust God to shine light to reveal the truth as we seek Him. And if sin is revealed in us or others, we can trust Him to purify us from it.  (see 1 John)

 

I have been reading recently about young people who have walked away from the church or their faith.  A Sticky Faith survey found that 70% of former youth group kids had significant questions about faith while they were in high school.  As you read this, you may resonate or you may feel ill equipped to answer those questions, but findings show that those exploring their faith don’t need answers as much as they need the space to explore their questions.  

 

I believe this is why Deuteronomy 6:6-9 urges parents to impress the foundations of faith (the law) on their children with consistency.  This isn’t always formal teaching, but discussions when you’re sitting, walking (or driving), with your mouth and with what you do.  Ask questions and invite your kids to ask questions about life and faith.  

 

Throughout Israel’s journey from slavery to the promised land, they set up pillars, or reminders that would spark questions from their kids to ask “why is this here?” What are those reminders or question starters for your family?  What space are you making for your kids to ask questions? Even if you don’t know the answer,  you can say “I don’t know… but lets explore this together, or …but I do know that God knows, or God is good, or God is faithful because…” 

 

When we don’t talk about hard things, the questions don’t go away, they just simmer and doubts brew.  But if we allow the light of God to shine on those conversations and invite them, we trust God with the outcome and ultimately with the faith and formation of our kids.  

 

What are the things you don’t talk about?  Why is that?  How can you open the door to questions your kids may want to ask, but are afraid to?  What visible reminders are you placing in your family’s path that causes them to ask about God?  Do your kids see you read your Bible or pray?  Do they hear how you process difficult situations?  Do they notice that God has made a difference in your life and have opportunity to hear about it?  My prayer is that the light of Christ shines in your family’s life and that the Bruno-like questions aren’t stashed away, because even if you don’t say them out loud, they are likely looping like a catchy song in your kids minds.

Valentines Day

 We are approaching Valentine’s Day and this seems to evoke strong feelings  across the spectrum either from those that go all out with romantic dinners, flowers, and chocolate to those who have coined it as “singles awareness day”.  Our family seems to take a more moderate stance on the day.  Growing up, I had a mentor who made a big impression on me.  Every time we met, he would say something like “Me and ______ are still dating…”  The funny thing, though, was that “_____” was his wife.  One thing this taught me was that when you are married, the fun and romance of dating doesn’t end, and regular date nights are really important to nurture a friendship and intimacy, even after you have kids or have been married for years.

 

Carmen and I have tried to carry this into our relationship, and schedule at least one date night a month, which has come to look like a movie or board game after kids are in bed, since COVID has kept us from going out or getting a babysitter.  But the other thing, is that we have found that the pressure of this one day to demonstrate our love is not isolated to a single day of the year, but shared all year long.  

 

So…..Valentines has become a fun family day for us.  We have made heart shaped pancakes or waffles for breakfast, made or bought a fun dessert (this year our local ice cream place Austin’s has ice cream pies!), and eaten heart shaped pizza while watching a new movie.  One of the things this has taught our family is that love doesn’t have to be centered around romance, but can be celebrated through the love we show family and friends.  Also, it opens the door to discuss how we show love with our kids.  

 

As I read in Exodus about the importance of keeping feasts, and their significance in remembering different aspects of God’s character, his rescue, provision, and blessing, I am reminded that our celebrations as families are times to teach and remember.  This doesn’t mean you and your spouse can’t get a sitter and have a special night out, but how do the conversations around your house about this day point to God, His love for us, and the love we demonstrate to others as a result?  How do we communicate God’s beautiful plan for marriage in a way that sets our kids up to have godly expectations and practices as they begin to date and prepare for marriage?  (even if that is well beyond what your parenting mind can imagine, the patterns we demonstrate now, set the foundation for expectations later).  As you prepare and celebrate the day, ask about love, where does it come from? How can we show love to our friends, family, and neighbors? 

 

Let each celebration be an opportunity to look toward God as we teach our kids to know God and live for Him!

2020 Favorite Things

 As 2020 comes to a close, many of us are ready to wish it good riddance, others aren’t so optimistic about 2021, but one thing is for sure.  This journey has not been without some good.  Sure there is lots to lament, but as we get to the end of this year, I think about the extra time that we have had at home with our kids.  We as a family have been able to grapple together through difficult news stories, process losses and sadness, and built new habits in the spaces where we may have been sprinting to and fro before.

 

A recurring theme has shown up this year has been joy in suffering.  As we have read the stories of scripture, we are reminded that we are not the first generation to suffer, we are not the first people to feel lonely.  In the midst of famines, wars, enslavement, bitterness, and sorrow, the Word of God repeats that God is faithful, God has not left his people, and the God who saved Israel from Egypt is the God who fulfilled His promises to Abraham and Sarah and is the same God who brought Jesus to life after the crucifixion.  We are assured that that same power that resurrected Jesus gives us life today.  It is because we are constantly reminded of the faithfulness of God to rescue and be present in the most trying of situations that we can experience that same joy today in our difficulties.  

 

Through 2020 our family enjoyed a number of tools that I’d like to offer to you:

·      Youversion Bible App- Carmen and I used “The Bible Recap” 1 year plan, and as we have journeyed through Advent with the youth and young adults we have enjoyed “BibleProject Advent Reflections”.  I have also used the verse of the day stories for a quick encouragement and devotional reading.  For teens and tweens, there are kids reading plans they can share with friends, when isolation is setting in, a great social alternative is reading scripture together.

·      Phyllis Tickle Divine Hours for regular prayer.  You can get these daily prayers for free online at annarborvineyard.org.  I have worked to translate these into more kid friendly language, send me a message if you’d like a copy.  

·      Every Moment Holy- prayer book.  Offering scripturally ground prayers for the moments you might not readily think about praying for.  I particularly liked their prayers for the first cup of coffee and for a student starting a school day.  You can get some of their prayers for free or order at www.everymomentholy.com .

·      The NLT One Year Bible.  Actual scripture with some devotional thoughts with some redactions to make it readable for a preteen.  

·      The One Year Children’s Bible is great for younger kids.  Whether you read it together or they read it themselves, this covers the whole of scripture in a format (and with pictures) that kids can grasp.

·      Finally, the D6 app you can get at www.newbaptistchurch.com/family-life gives great application to the lessons kids are learning in Sunday School each week, plus we love the discussion questions at dinner.

 

None of this is to heap guilt or a feeling of not doing enough, and we don’t use all of these things at once, just want to offer tools that we have found helpful to connect with each other and with God to find joy through this season.  These habits we build now in the lives of our children will remind them of God’s faithfulness throughout their lifetime and prayerfully will span generations.

 

Let us rejoice!  A savior has been born and through him we can experience new life, not just in 2021, but every day as we walk with Jesus.  I’m praying for you and am available anytime you have questions or even suggestions about resources you’ve found helpful to your family!

With Excellence

The past few months have been full of house remodels for our family.  I grew up in a construction family so have had a lot of opportunities to learn how to do home projects.  I have jokingly said, practicing carpentry and wearing sandals are just ways I’m trying to be more like Jesus.   

I have learned many lessons from construction.  Asking one friend how he got so good at drywall, he said the key to a good drywall finish comes from paying attention to the details in 

framing a wall.  No wonder I had to apply 42 coats of mud and sand for days, I thought “rough carpentry” was supposed to be “rough” and then you covered up the flaws with drywall.  How wrong I was.  I feel like Jesus said something about the value of a good foundation in a story about houses built on rock or sand.

 

I was working in my closet the other day finish sanding when a spot was giving me trouble.  My first thought was “it’s a closet, no one is ever going to see that.”  But then I began to think about Colossians 3:23 “Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men.”  How would I treat Jesus’ closet?  Would “good enough” do?  

 

Thinking about a work ethic, I look to God and see that when God works, it is good, majestic, and glorious.  He creates masterpieces!  I have yet to read in the Bible that God said it is “good enough.”  

 

Now I am not God, so sometimes my walls aren’t plumb and my cuts aren’t square.  But I am challenged to consider my work ethic as excellent or just good enough.  As parents, these are great stories to share with our kids.  What lessons are they learning from us and the way we work?  Are we pointing to a majestic and glorious Creator as we work or showing a way of “good enough”?  

 

Oh yeah, I painted over that flubbed spot in the closet.  I’m still on this journey of being challenged in my day to day walk with Jesus.  Thank God I’m still a work in progress that he is making good! (Philippians 1:6)  Reflecting on God's Word and applying it are tough, but each step draws us closer to what we are becoming.

Find the Waypoint

It’s time to write an August article for our church newsletter and this has normally been my time to talk about back-to-school kickoffs and such.  However, this year is not normal.  This month has been somewhat turbulent for me.  At the beginning of July, I was ready to start a new phase of meeting together, my plans were moving toward a new phase of a new normal, when we hit the brakes with an increase of COVID cases.  With this yo-yo of decisions, I feel like I have been a yo-yo of emotions. Can you relate?  With schools making plans for the Fall, the questions seem to still outweigh the answers. 

 

Our pastoral staff had a big discussion about how to deal with chaos in general. Our conversation boiled down to being faithful to what God has called us to do.  One way I think about this is a lesson I learned early as I began to hike and explore the woods.  I learned that, if I ever get lost and cannot find a familiar spot to stop, think about where I’ve come from. Look for any markers that might give me a sense of direction, and if necessary, head downhill and find water. Follow the water in the same direction until it leads to a town or road or something that helps you get home. 

I was reading Psalm 46 and the Psalmist says “God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.  Therefore, we will not fear though the earth gives way…”  When everything feels like or maybe is in chaos, God is present to help and protect us.  Verse 4 says “There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God, the holy habitation of the Most High.”  Where God is, there is the waypoint, the presence of stability and steadiness that brings us home when we are lost, that rescues us when we are in trouble.  This Psalm has a contrast of chaos and peace.  The chaos of the world and peace found in God.  One of my favorite verses is found in verse 10 “Be still and know that I am God.”  

 

What a great lesson, in the chaos, in the unknown, in feeling lost or wandering, stop…be still… find the waypoint, the thing that can give you a sense of direction, something that is steady that will rescue.  That waypoint is not a thing, but the one true God who is present.  

 

During this season, we have opportunities to hold onto the firm fortress which is our God.  We might not have exact answers for a new school year, or when we are meeting for Sunday School or kids and youth activities, but we do know one thing: God has not left us, God is here in the midst of every circumstance.  

 

How can I know this?  Well the Bible is chocked full of stories of God’s faithfulness.  Moments of lost people (or nations) being found.  Impossible situations miraculously made possible by God.  The more I read the Bible and talk about these stories with my family, the more we look for God to turn dire situations of hopelessness or loss into hope and life.  That is who God is.  When everything is crumbling, God is a still river that faithfully guides us to safety. 

 

There is a lot we miss doing during this season, but one thing cannot be taken away, and that is our ability as individuals and families to be still with God.  To read the Bible and memorize it.  To pray and watch for what God is doing in and around us and to join in that work to be a blessing wherever we are placed.  These are the areas we can be faithful in, no matter what.

The Good Life

What is the good life?  I’ve been thinking a lot about this question recently.

 

If you could do any job but the paycheck didn’t matter what would you do?  What would you do with a million dollars?  These are fun questions to ask, but in many ways get us thinking about what it means to live “the good life”.  You know, “the pursuit of happiness”, if nothing got in my way.  

 

Our answer to the question “what is the good life?” is the motive for what we do in life.  We are pulled towards work, family, faith, charity, pleasure, and more.  All vying for our attention and time with the lure “this is what is good.”  As parents, we feel this pressure, we don’t want to mess up the chance we have to give our kids this “good life” and so we try to give them the best opportunities possible both now and for their future.

 

Jesus encounters a rich man in Matthew 19 who asks what “good deed” do I need to do to inherit eternal life?  Underlying this question is a thought about his eternal future, but that is probably so his mind is eased today.  This question may show up today as, “How can I live a long life?” Or “How can I be fulfilled?”  Jesus tells the man to obey God’s laws, to which point the man essentially says, “I’ve lived a good life, I haven’t killed anyone or robbed a bank or cheated on my wife.”  Jesus says, ok, go sell all your stuff and follow me.  Verse 22 says “When the young man heard this he went away sorrowful.” 

 

Most of the times I’ve heard this preached it has been about materialism or wealth.  Sure, that’s there, but I think the deeper issue has to do with this man’s heart.  He wanted this good life, forever life, that Jesus the good teacher was offering, until he found out it would cost him.  He would have to trust Jesus’ path to a good life instead of the culture’s or his own path to happiness.  

 

Jesus talks about this in what we call the beatitudes.  They all begin with “blessed” or “happy” is the one who….  But we discover that those things include suffering, mourning, giving, being humble and more things that aren’t widely considered “good”. Who can do all this?  Well that’s the good news: None of us can! But we can get a heart renovation, actually it’s a whole new thing (elsewhere in the Bible the trade is a heart of stone for one of flesh).  With this, God leads us to experience not only a good life, but the life we were intended for.  

 

Micah 6:8 says “He has told you, O man, what is good; and what does the Lord require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God?”   The good life?  It’s about walking with God, trusting his ways, and acting in ways that allow others to experience this good life.  Justice, kindness, humility?  These are ways I can live that consider others and their needs and interests ahead of mine.  A life that sees the higher good in God’s way before my way.

 

I used to hear people say that if you want to discover what is important to a family, look at their checkbook.  But nowadays, you could look at the family’s Google Calendar and see what is important; what the higher goods in their life are, what gets priority on the schedule.  Most of those things are probably good.  But what is your “why” for them being there over something else?  With a few months of a clear calendar (except for zoom call after zoom call…) I wonder, what makes the Google Calendar cut for the future? What about you? What about your family?

 

How do you define the good life?  What hopes do you have for your children?  How are you going about discovering if the path you’re on is leading you to joy or leaving you sorry?  

I don't know what to say

I have been at a loss for words this week.  This morning I was reading my Bible and catching up with the news and trying to do what Karl Barth says “Take your Bible and take your newspaper, and read both. But interpret newspapers from your Bible.”  As I came to the end of praying through the Psalms for the first cycle of the year I got stuck as I read all of the ways we praise the Lord in Psalm 150 and landed on verse 6 “Let everything that has breath praise the Lord.

Praise the Lord.”  My heart sank, and I sat with the pain and anger that a senseless act of racism, abuse of power, or whatever it was, George Floyd’s breath to praise God was taken away from him even as he repeated “I can’t breathe.”

I tend to miss trends and days that spread via social media and a few weeks ago felt like I was behind the curve as I saw people posting runs to honor Ahmaud Arbery.  But this evening as I took off for a run, I moved through my neighborhood, as I do multiple times a week, without thought of being targeted by violence or hatred because of my race or appearance.  I wore this headband as a reminder that as I run, there are many who can’t or can’t freely so “I run for those who can’t”

I am not going to try to justify the relationships I have with people of color or from other cultures.  Honestly I have to admit that I know enough to know that there is a lot I don’t know.  It struck me this morning reading Psalm 119 how the Psalmist had such a clear view of God and God’s law that he could not help but praise God and commit to follow God’s commands, yet multiple times pleaded for understanding and help.  I know God is good, faithful, and loving.  I am grateful that God is relentless to rescue and desires His children to act with justice, mercy, and humility (Micah 6:8).  I know God has created people of all colors and the good news of Jesus is free to everyone.  But this good news is not just a future in Heaven but as Jesus proclaimed “The Spirit of the Lord is on me, because he has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners and recovery of sight for the blind, to set the oppressed free,” (Luke 4:18).

I honestly don’t know how to respond to or on behalf of my friends during this time.  I do know that racism is wrong.  I know that all people are created in God's image and should be treated with that respect.  My heart longs for justice and reconciliation.  A social media post seems trite compared to the pain I see from my friends as a result of racism.  As one friend shared, “Take away George Floyd's face being thrust to the pavement and replace it with mine…” but this turns my stomach and I can’t imagine the world without his passion and humor and smile.  I want my kids to play with your kids and to think nothing of it, but even more to live in a society where both of our kids can drive and run and play without different treatment because of our color.  I truly want to vote and act and speak in ways that don’t benefit me, but provide those freedoms I enjoy to my friends.  I want to ask more questions, to be more aware, to genuinely listen and then respond in meaningful ways to my neighbors, even if they don’t look or think like me.  I don’t know a lot of things, but I want to learn, I need help, I want the fullness of the Gospel to be evident not just in my teaching, but in EVERY aspect of my life. I will pray for justice, for transformed hearts and systems.

Father, forgive us as we forgive those who have sinned against us, lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.