I don't know what to say

I have been at a loss for words this week.  This morning I was reading my Bible and catching up with the news and trying to do what Karl Barth says “Take your Bible and take your newspaper, and read both. But interpret newspapers from your Bible.”  As I came to the end of praying through the Psalms for the first cycle of the year I got stuck as I read all of the ways we praise the Lord in Psalm 150 and landed on verse 6 “Let everything that has breath praise the Lord.

Praise the Lord.”  My heart sank, and I sat with the pain and anger that a senseless act of racism, abuse of power, or whatever it was, George Floyd’s breath to praise God was taken away from him even as he repeated “I can’t breathe.”

I tend to miss trends and days that spread via social media and a few weeks ago felt like I was behind the curve as I saw people posting runs to honor Ahmaud Arbery.  But this evening as I took off for a run, I moved through my neighborhood, as I do multiple times a week, without thought of being targeted by violence or hatred because of my race or appearance.  I wore this headband as a reminder that as I run, there are many who can’t or can’t freely so “I run for those who can’t”

I am not going to try to justify the relationships I have with people of color or from other cultures.  Honestly I have to admit that I know enough to know that there is a lot I don’t know.  It struck me this morning reading Psalm 119 how the Psalmist had such a clear view of God and God’s law that he could not help but praise God and commit to follow God’s commands, yet multiple times pleaded for understanding and help.  I know God is good, faithful, and loving.  I am grateful that God is relentless to rescue and desires His children to act with justice, mercy, and humility (Micah 6:8).  I know God has created people of all colors and the good news of Jesus is free to everyone.  But this good news is not just a future in Heaven but as Jesus proclaimed “The Spirit of the Lord is on me, because he has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners and recovery of sight for the blind, to set the oppressed free,” (Luke 4:18).

I honestly don’t know how to respond to or on behalf of my friends during this time.  I do know that racism is wrong.  I know that all people are created in God's image and should be treated with that respect.  My heart longs for justice and reconciliation.  A social media post seems trite compared to the pain I see from my friends as a result of racism.  As one friend shared, “Take away George Floyd's face being thrust to the pavement and replace it with mine…” but this turns my stomach and I can’t imagine the world without his passion and humor and smile.  I want my kids to play with your kids and to think nothing of it, but even more to live in a society where both of our kids can drive and run and play without different treatment because of our color.  I truly want to vote and act and speak in ways that don’t benefit me, but provide those freedoms I enjoy to my friends.  I want to ask more questions, to be more aware, to genuinely listen and then respond in meaningful ways to my neighbors, even if they don’t look or think like me.  I don’t know a lot of things, but I want to learn, I need help, I want the fullness of the Gospel to be evident not just in my teaching, but in EVERY aspect of my life. I will pray for justice, for transformed hearts and systems.

Father, forgive us as we forgive those who have sinned against us, lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.

Graduations and Transitions

As many of our senior’s graduation ceremonies have been moved to June, and most have now finished all of the requirements that make it official, I want to take this opportunity to say “congratulations!”  Your accomplishment is worthy of celebration and we are proud of you.  As this season ends in the most anticlimactic way, there are lots of things that have not been the way that you may have hoped and dreamed. It is ok to mourn the loss of these expectations.  But I want to encourage you, and your families as well, to consider your journey.  From where have you come and what lies ahead?  What stories show God at work in and around you? Sure, there is uncertainty, but what are things that you hope for?  What or who do you hope in?  What is defining your path forward?  What does it mean in this season to say with the Psalmist “[f]or God alone, O my soul, wait in silence, for my hope is from him.  He only is my rock and my salvation, my fortress; I shall not be shaken.” 62:5?

This is a time of transition.  Our summer mission trip to Tennessee has been cancelled as well as June Camps at Cowen.  We are evaluating when and how we will begin to phase in youth and children’s ministry at New Baptist Church.  But in this time of transition, what is God showing you?  Most schools will have collected their final assignments by the time this prints and summer, but different is beginning.  How is God at work in your family?  What is God doing among your neighbors?  Are there new habits that focus your minds on Jesus during this season and allow you to listen for direction from God?  If you’ve ever sat for a long time, that transition from sitting to walking feels a little wobbly, and maybe this season feels the same way, but how can we allow God to use this as a way for us and our families to grow in Him?

I’ve recently learned that seasons of transition are called liminal seasons, after that Latin word that means threshold, like the part of the door where you are neither in nor out, you are at the threshold or limen.  These are awkward times, but taking time to be present, to evaluate, or as the Psalmist says “wait on God” taking stock of where we’ve come from, while considering the future.  This is a time of learning, a time of growing, a time of trusting.   

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Change of Pace

Before “quarantine” and “social distancing” became everyday phrases, I had been reading and thinking about how life seemed to be speeding faster and faster as I was caught in a whirlwind of rush and hurry.  I was looking at setting more boundaries on technology, on commitments, on striving.  I was hoping to implement rest, thoughtfulness, intentionality….then this.  Early on my focus was on loss.  Loss of normal, loss of vacations, loss of school activities, loss of freedom to be overwhelmed by choices for food, activities, even toilet paper brands for crying out loud!

But in the past week I have begun to think that some things have gotten left behind in the last two months that maybe are worth leaving behind.  What are these though?  Well in the loss of a hard and fast bell schedule our kids have to keep, I have started using the early morning quiet to read and write and have put my runs off until daylight.  Believe it or not, there are actual people that walk our streets, not just dark houses and occasional cars warming up to head to work before the sun rises.  I’ve met a new friend named Terry.  He recently retired and is adding some serious mileage with some extra time on his hands.  I’m about 20 years his junior, but one day he invited me to join him.  I had a more intense run in mind, but instead I took a more leisurely pace and enjoyed the company (6 feet apart of course).  Now we pass each other regularly and we will change our pace and run together.  We have shared names, training plans, race stories and race dreams, and honestly I’ve found that the time chatting is much better than any achievements I might gain from that extra speed workout or a couple more miles.  

Matthew 20:28 says “even as the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.”  The Gospels are chalked full of stories of Jesus serving.    If anyone had an important mission, it was Jesus, we might even say his mission of life, death, and resurrection was the most important of anyone’s ever.  But one thing I see in Jesus, he wasn’t so important that he didn’t have time for people.  Instead, Jesus embraced interruptions.  On a mission to bring someone back to life, he healed a woman who just touched his robe on the way.  Getting ready to teach thousands, he feeds them first.  Jesus’ life was not marked by rushing but by interruptions that turned out to be divine encounters.  

How can my life reflect that type of awareness?  As we talk about what our “new normal” might look like, I am hoping for less rush and more margin that allows for these divine encounters, where I see God at work in and around me.  I have found that some of the moments of joy through this whole time of quarantine have been the few minutes I’ve shared with neighbors from my front porch or learning the name of that dog and his owner as they walk past me on the street.  I hope divine encounters become a way of defining what I used to call “interruptions”.  As a life of service reshapes us to see others as more significant than ourselves, I hope that changing pace helps me to tune in to others as I take the focus off myself.  This change of pace has definitely been unexpected, but the lessons I’m learning are welcome wisdom!  What about you?

A Game of the Heart

Through this time of quarantine, one goal while I’m not in a sprint from place to place is to take time every day to work out.  I am attempting to stay mentally, physically, spiritually, and emotionally sharp during this odd season.  I enjoy using an app called Zwift that allows me to ride my bike on a stand in my garage while competing against or riding with riders from all over the world on my computer screen.  The whole time I’m riding up and down hills and sprinting for the finish line, I tend to forget that I’m exercising and feel like I’m playing a video game, adding mileage and trying to level up.  These app developers have figured out a way to tap the part of my brain that spent hours winning levels of Super Mario 3 years ago to help me to sweat off some of my dad bod by tricking it into winning prizes and achievements.  They have tapped into the heart of people who like to compete or achieve and offered a way for them to accomplish a goal (working out) in a fun and playful way.

This morning, my kids were playing another game, and I wasn’t about to stop this one.  They were trying to out-do each other in kindness.  After Brooks made Nina’s bed, Nina cleaned up his room.  I’m not sure what started this game, but this sure beat some of the picking that has happened as siblings being stuck in the same house for six weeks would be inevitable.  An attitude that we as parents hope becomes a regular practice, for this morning became a game of kindness.  

Scripture gives many attitudes we should strive for, Ephesians says “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”  Jesus lifted up the golden rule in Matthew 7 to “do to others what you would have them do to you…”  I must admit that being kind, compassionate, or forgiving to others seem like no brainers, but just stated outright can seem as torturous or unappealing as telling someone that they need to work out.  Even though I have been accused of being like Chris Traeger from Parks and Recreation, I gravitate to workouts that touch that place in my heart that draw me outside or give me a chance for competition.  In the same way, how are our hearts bent when it comes to godly attitudes?  What is it that draws us toward actions and attitudes that the Bible describes?  

Naturally, we don't act kindly or selflessly on our own.  We might be seeing this in our kids these days, cooped up, bored, stressed, they become angry, selfish, or mean.  But God has called humans, adults and kids alike, to give their hearts to him.  As that transformation happens, we find joy and life from a heart that practices kindness, compassion, forgiveness, selflessness, and love.  Understanding the heart helps us to understand motivation, and guide actions and attitudes.  What areas of your heart has God been working on recently?  How can you speak to your kids hearts instead of demanding actions or attitudes?  What unique things speak to the heart of your family members?  What kind of game or activity might help your kids or whole family welcome God’s work in their hearts?

Learning the Lines

This week my daughter wanted to learn how to mow grass.  I started asking when I found out my wife was pregnant how long it would take before I could pass this torch, but now it seems crazy that she is big enough to begin teaching to mow.  Luckily, with a self-propelled mower and a relatively flat yard, this is a great place to learn.  She caught on quickly to the controls, turning at the end of lines, and she had pretty good control.  But one thing that was a challenge was helping her see the line between the cut grass and the uncut.  Having mowed grass for more than 25 years, this seems somewhat natural to me, I can catch the track the wheel made on the last pass, see how the grass is laying differently from different direction passes, I can catch that stray dandelion that is being stubborn and popping back up uncut.  But how do I communicate all of these things to her in a way that helps train her eyes to see these same nuances?

I was reminded of one of the biggest challenges I faced as a soccer coach.  There were basic skills that I knew.  I knew so deeply because I had rehearsed them for years, and they were natural, instinctual.  But they weren’t innate, they had been learned, but as hard as I tried, I could not remember actually learning these basic skills.  I had to relive those 3 year old practices playing red light/green light, monster, and keep away.  I thought about the drills that seemed to show up through every stage of my development.  I had to remember the stories and games that taught me and shaped me with skills that in my later years were natural and instinctual.  

As I am reading through the Psalms currently, this idea of remembering keeps coming up.  Actually, the word “remember” is used over 200 times in scripture and that doesn’t get into other words like “remind.”  For generations, God’s people are reminded to remember the covenants God had made with their fathers Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob.  Then generations later the Israelites were reminded to remember that they were once slaves in Egypt, but God rescued them and provided the land he had promised.  But they were not just reminded of the good things, they remembered how they had failed, lacked trust, turned to idols, and were faithless.  But in their faithlessness, God has been faithful.  Why remember these things?  Because this story of human failing will replay itself, and we will need reminding that God is faithful, God has been faithful, and God will continue to be faithful in the future.

These are stories of people of faith.  A people who were called by God, not because they were great, but because God is gracious.  These stories are our stories.  We live a story faith.  This doesn’t mean it is make believe or a fairy tale, but a faith that is grounded in the story of history.  God showed up in time and space and many times when people were at the end of themselves.  These stories were passed on, and continue on as we understand them and live them.  These are the stories of the Bible.  These stories remind us to remember that when we fail, God is faithful.  When we are weak, God is strong.  When we are broken and weeping, God comforts.  These are the ways we learn the lines, so to say.  We learn from the stories of Scripture how God encounters people.  How does your story fit into God’s story? 

As I continue to learn how to be a parent and a pastor, I am learning to understand God’s story and how I fit into it.  But the next step for me is to talk about these stories, to share how God has worked in the past and how I see God working now in and around me.  As I share these stories, I give my kids context, or the ability to see God’s story unfolding in their life and around them.  We remember together and as we do that they develop the eyes to see the lines, the things they aren’t tuned into yet, but with practice, will become more natural.