We are approaching Valentine’s Day and this seems to evoke strong feelings across the spectrum either from those that go all out with romantic dinners, flowers, and chocolate to those who have coined it as “singles awareness day”. Our family seems to take a more moderate stance on the day. Growing up, I had a mentor who made a big impression on me. Every time we met, he would say something like “Me and ______ are still dating…” The funny thing, though, was that “_____” was his wife. One thing this taught me was that when you are married, the fun and romance of dating doesn’t end, and regular date nights are really important to nurture a friendship and intimacy, even after you have kids or have been married for years.
Carmen and I have tried to carry this into our relationship, and schedule at least one date night a month, which has come to look like a movie or board game after kids are in bed, since COVID has kept us from going out or getting a babysitter. But the other thing, is that we have found that the pressure of this one day to demonstrate our love is not isolated to a single day of the year, but shared all year long.
So…..Valentines has become a fun family day for us. We have made heart shaped pancakes or waffles for breakfast, made or bought a fun dessert (this year our local ice cream place Austin’s has ice cream pies!), and eaten heart shaped pizza while watching a new movie. One of the things this has taught our family is that love doesn’t have to be centered around romance, but can be celebrated through the love we show family and friends. Also, it opens the door to discuss how we show love with our kids.
As I read in Exodus about the importance of keeping feasts, and their significance in remembering different aspects of God’s character, his rescue, provision, and blessing, I am reminded that our celebrations as families are times to teach and remember. This doesn’t mean you and your spouse can’t get a sitter and have a special night out, but how do the conversations around your house about this day point to God, His love for us, and the love we demonstrate to others as a result? How do we communicate God’s beautiful plan for marriage in a way that sets our kids up to have godly expectations and practices as they begin to date and prepare for marriage? (even if that is well beyond what your parenting mind can imagine, the patterns we demonstrate now, set the foundation for expectations later). As you prepare and celebrate the day, ask about love, where does it come from? How can we show love to our friends, family, and neighbors?
Let each celebration be an opportunity to look toward God as we teach our kids to know God and live for Him!
