Grief is a Crazy Thing!

Grief is a crazy thing!  In the past few days we have learned that our kids will not be returning to school this year and in the midst of their sadness over missing friends, field trips, programs, and all the fun that takes place at the end of the elementary year, our oldest pup suddenly had a heart attack in our back yard and died later that afternoon at the vet.  

I was prepared for the sudden onslaught of grief as I mourned the loss of a great friend and companion.  I was prepared for the sudden memories to throw me into sadness or tears or laughter.  But one thing I was not prepared for was watching my kids grieve.  One announcement, although somewhat expected was not what they’d hoped for and the other came suddenly out of the blue.  For them, they would be launched into sobbing, or questioning, or just be sent into a stupor of pain from the loss of their hopes and the loss of their friends. 

I am grateful for friends and family who have showed up with prayers, cards, calls, and cakes.  I’m also grateful for our Children’s Director, Debbie, who gave very wise words today.  She said “this is a life lesson for them to have with me so they will hopefully be better able to navigate later. A kind of training, a blessing in itself because we can point out God in the whole thing. How He reminds us of His love even when we hurt. That what we feel is ok to feel and to tell Him.”  

Grief stinks!  Loss stinks!  Shattered hopes stink!  Life beyond our control happening out of the blue stinks!  Through Lent we used a study on Ecclesiastes and the author says over and over that things are “meaningless” or Hevel (In Hebrew), better translated as vapor or a mist that we can see but not hold onto.  In the midst of loss, the weight of those things we hold onto presses down on us quite heavily.  But we are also reminded that in this world there are times of living and times of dying, times of joy and times of mourning.  None of these times last forever.  Thank God!  

The hope we have in times of loss is that there is something bigger, Ecclesiastes 3:11 says that “He has put eternity in the hearts of man.”  Everything isn’t meaningless, but the temporary things are given meaning by our creator.  So many of the Psalms (especially 42) give voice of people hurting and struggling with loss.  Loss of dreams, security, the way things were supposed to be, and more.  But the resounding conclusion is to seek God, hope in God, rest and hide in God.  

We are trying to help our kids through this season to know that sometimes we might laugh, sometimes we might cry, or feel paralyzed by sadness, or ask questions that we don’t know the answers to.  We’ve also tried to help them to understand that we all might feel these different emotions differently and at different times, and that is OK.  Loss hurts, and no one wants to experience it, but in the midst of the pain, God is with us.  God is a shelter and a fortress, a helper in our time of need.  When we look up for help, God is there for us to hope in. 

There are no questions out of bounds at this time and as we go through this season together, we are learning to share our feelings with God and trust God to hold us through all of them. We are learning together, growing together, and trusting together.  

Matthew 5:4 says “Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.” I’ve been asking what these statements say about God?  Well here is my hope that I gain through this, God is a God who sees hurting people, and God is caring and comforting.

There are all kinds of loss happening right now, the loss of the end of a school year, loss of special events like prom or graduation, loss of vacations, jobs, feelings of security, or just the loss of the way we thought things were supposed to be.  I want to encourage you to walk with you kids through this.  Invite them along for the journey and guide them with your example.  I invite you to look to God for comfort and to help your kids to do the same, God is caring and comforting!